Guess What Sucks

 
 You wanna know what REALLY sucks?   When you THINK that your delicious tasty sandwich has mayo on it… but… oh… wait a sec…EWWW!!!   Whats this disgusting slime on here that has the distinctive tang of semen???  Oh SHIT its Miracle Whip… and motherfuck me with a broken bottle does it SUCK.
   Miracle Whip was devised as [...]

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   Who was the fucking retard that decided to push this lame idea on the public?   Hey lets take rich creamy ice cream and freeze it to the point it looks like gravel.  Maybe morons will eat it and rant about it to their friends.  Assholes. 
Dippin’ Dots Suck.
   They say Dippin’ Dots is the “Ice [...]

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     I think Subway is a magical place.  They must employ hundreds of wizards and warlocks posing as “sandwich artists” all over the country.  The reason I believe that is this; When I’m getting my sandwich made… I never see the sandwich leave the counter. Weird huh???   I never actually SEE any employee take my sandwich… go into the back… [...]

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        Did you know that I love hot and spicy foods?  I mean LOVE them.  If its possible… I always doctor up my food to make it HOT.  Peppers of all shapes and sizes (except one), sauces and spices all over the place.  Pizza… Sandwiches… Shrimp… Chicken Livers… Eggs… All of these things [...]

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   Ugh.  Green Bell Peppers Suck.
   They have the distinct honor of being the most disgusting and nauseating of all the peppers known in existence.  They taint everything that they come into contact with.  They ruin amazing dishes like the Denver omelet. Philly cheese steaks are amazingly tasty… unless you add the green little bastards to them, [...]

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      Dear God in the motherfucking sky.  Whose idea was Ketchup?  A sweet, disgusting goo that’s artificially colored red… because if you saw the real color….  you’d see it was really brown.  That’s right.  I’m talking about poo poo.
   OK seriously… enough with the childish remarks.   Ketchup is a fucking abomination to the condiment world.  [...]

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     The Whopper sucks.   Plain and simple.  I’m sorry to inform all you people that grew up eating it and thinking it was and/or is delicious.  The fact of the matter is that its the lamest flagship burger out of any national chain.  Period. 
     I love cheeseburgers mind you.  I love me all kinds of burgers.  [...]

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