Guess What Sucks

   I think there is a small percentage of celebrities who are beyond famous.  These are the people you see on the covers of magazines and tabloids for their lifestyles, and their off screen behavior rather than their professional prowess.   I think this kind of attention slowly warps these people and they slowly change from a normal person… into a botox inflamed twat named Nicole Kidman.

   Nicole Kidman is a marginally talented actress from Australia or as I like to call it “The Alabama of the World”.   She had been an actress since she was a child and has been in lot of mundane little shitbombs that usually tend to capitalize on the fact that shes simply in the movie.  She used to be a cute redhead with a sassy accent, but over the years… something slow and horrible happened inside of her.  Something that would transform her from an aspiring curly haired starlet… to a braindead twat with no talent or natural beauty.

   She recieved her first taste of sweet sweet fame in a movie called “Dead Calm”  a forgettable movie that also starred another waste of space… Billy Zane.   She starred in a collection of other crappy movies that mostly featured her use of vampy looks and awful acting skills.  She was a hot bitch in a car racing movie… she was a hot rich bitch in a movie about Irish immigrants… and she played a hooker in a musical about hookers with hearts of yummy hooker gold.    Oh yeah and she showed her pubes in Billy Bathgate.  I cant stand how she only has 3 expressions.  Sexy… Worried Sexy… and Scared Sexy.   When she smiles it makes my teeth hurt in the same way it hurts when you chew tin foil.  She was poised to become a hugely popular actress and sex symbol.

But this was only the beginning.

   Nicole’s life went from Zero to Dingbat in just a few short events .  The first being her divorce from the greatest actor of the 20th century… Tom Cruise.  This fact alone should prove to anyone beyond a reasonable doubt that she is certifiably koo koo.   Why would anyone in their right mind get married to Tom Cruise… then back out of it?  I mean seriously… who is that crazy???  Ill tell you who;  Nicole Kidman. (and Mimi Rogers but that’s another set of circumstances)  Another of these life changing events came when she won the Best Actress Academy Award for her performance in “The Hours”…  a film about an ugly woman with a huge nose who has no friends and cant pay men to sleep with her.  It was a piece of shit film that makes my eyes burn piss just to see a clip of it.

   After she won the Oscar she pretty much starred in nothing but shitty remakes of tv shows and older better movies.  I wont get into names but I’m sure that if you saw one of them… your genitals would burst into flames and require a damp towel or several hundred band-aids.  She recently had her face removed and stretched and sharpened and replaced with a neoprene covering that closely resembles a human face.  She married a redneck from her homeland and they spend the majority of their time eating barbie shrimp and watching Yahoo Serious movies.

   Nicole Kidman needs to get back on the spaceship she was birthed on and fly back into the cosmos where she belongs.