Hey whats up dude??? I’m a whiter than white asshole with WAY too much money. Do you have anything totally retarded and silly that i can spend my money on? NO Ive already got a Blue-Ray player. YES I have the new season of Greys Anatomy on DVD. Wait what? Going OUT for breakfast? HOLY MOTHERFUCKING COCK IN MY ASS!!!! What a GREAT idea!!!
I think this consumer society has set in place a way of thinking that every fucking meal they eat has to be prepared by strangers or something. I understand going out to lunch. Hell going out to lunch is almost a staple for some people. Going out to dinner is a pleasant and lovely experience if the food is good and the service is accommodating. Going out for breakfast though is a by product of lazy stupid people who apparently don’t know how to cook for themselves.
Seriously… who actually WANTS to get out of bed… get dressed… and DRIVE somewhere and eat overpriced breakfast food with other strangers who just woke up themselves? Do you know how much eggs cost? Bacon? Shit they are DIRT fucking cheap… yet i know dozens of simple minded idiots who for some reason just ADORE the idea of paying 10 bucks for breakfast.
I’ve heard all the stupid reasons like
Well I just love going out to eat
Really? you’re a spoiled brat trapped in an adults body.
There is NO way I could make most of the stuff that they serve!!!
Really? You’re a lazy asshole and you need to buy a fucking cookbook. A brain dead monkey with arthritis could make a omelette… and make it better and cheaper than your cute little breakfast place.
Well… its easier and much more trendy and social to go OUT to breakfast than to just make it
Stop being so fucking afraid of ACTUALLY being social. If you really gave a shit you’d have your friends over to your HOUSE for breakfast. That’s right douche nozzle… YOUR FUCKING HOUSE!!!! Dear lord can you believe that years ago people actually stayed at home and prepared their fast breaking meal in their OWN kitchens? Holy fucking Jesus it must have been awful!!! Relaxing at home in your house pants and actually COOKING!!!!
Spoiled bastards. Eat scrambled eggs off of my nuts.
18 responses so far ↓
1 billiam5billion // Jan 31, 2009 at 11:05 am
You’re just sour because I can get a giant plate of delicious chorizo and eggs with some chilaquiles and handmade tortillas for $2.99 at the local taqueria and you can’t. Of course you hate eating out for breakfast, you don’t have awesome (and cheap) Tex-Mex right outside your front door. Bitter old man…
2 Lardy Be // Jan 31, 2009 at 11:08 am
Really!? Three months and THIS is all you got?? YOU suck!
3 Danny Anus // Jan 31, 2009 at 11:53 am
Dear billiam5billion,
I would rather eat my own feces than live in Houston
Love Danny Anus
4 billiam5billion // Jan 31, 2009 at 12:28 pm
How can you say that, when Texas bbq is sooooooo much better than that KC shit?
HAHA!!!
5 Emily "EZ" Zager // Jan 31, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Danny, don’t I recall a time in which Matthew and I ran into you and Debbie, completely randomly, going out to breakfast at Mama’s on 39th Street… and since we are all at the same place at the same time, we all had breakfast together?
Wasn’t there another time you told me you were having breakfast at the exact same establishment and you saw a certain ex of yours chasing some guy down the street, with her arms stretched out in zombie-like fashion? Now how can you say that paying for breakfast wasn’t totally worth seeing THAT?
6 Matthew Zager // Jan 31, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Social? Friends? No thanks, I prefer to drink a protein shake alone while flexing my biceps in front of a full-length mirror.
7 Some Black Guy // Jan 31, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Are you trying to say people that aren’t white can’t afford to go out to breakfast???
I sho would like to ge me sum uh dat denny’s that masa is always eatin, but we’s too po fo that. Guess we just be eatin at home.
Guess what sucks? being a racist Asshole.
8 Jim Russell // Jan 31, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Even I can make a good omelette! Yeah, my brother is always going to First Watch, and is allright food, but totally overpriced for what you get. I fucking hate going out for breakfast cause I don’t like being around people, especially happy chipper people in the fucking morning.
9 jake "i eat breakfast at first watch" russell // Jan 31, 2009 at 6:07 pm
breakfast food is the best type of food there is and first watch is the best breakfast food. so ipso-facto, i love first watch. and theyre only open til 2pm so if that means going out in the morning to eat it, i must do it. aside from that, i’d rather eat breakfast food at night. so go fuck yourself! (thats directed at everyone by the way)
i did like when you said “douche nozzle”
10 kimgrassie // Jan 31, 2009 at 7:20 pm
hey danny, come up here to williamsburg, brooklyn we’ll have a $30 per person BRUNCH and talk about how much it sucks.
(and if you did come up here, you’d have enough material for this blog to last you about 13 years.)
11 madsilver // Feb 1, 2009 at 9:48 am
so i eat breakfast at home all the time, i make a a large amount of dishes as well, an omlette, egss and potatoes, oatmeal and frsh fruit, i love making breakfast it is one of my favorite things to do, and because i make this all the time once every two weeks or so the idea of paying someone for breakfast is nice, because first, i am not paying for the food, i am paying for it to be served to me, my coffee at a constant fill and no clean up, second, it is nice when yiou dont have much money to go get it because it is pretty cheap compaired to eatting at dinner, so it makes me feel like i am not fucking poor eating ranch beans and two eggs in my pajamas by myself on my day off. thirdly, i love the idea of someone having to wake up at 5 am to go into a shity kitchen and prep food, making a huge pot of oatmeal that gets thrown away everyday, so i can stroll in at 8 am to eat something my own wife could make.
12 Brandon // Feb 1, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Dude! I am so glad you addressed this issue. I literally have to explain this concept to my girlfriend every Saturday and Sunday morning. Coffee, toast, pop-tarts, cereal, granola, the occasional fried egg… breakfast of champions right in your own kitchen! Wooo!
13 Brandon // Feb 1, 2009 at 12:31 pm
re: “Some Black Guy”
Ummm… I believe Danny was playing on the stereotype that alot of white people waste money on stupid, un-necessary things (blu-ray players, Grey’s Anatomy DVDs, etc.) and that going out to breakfast qualifies as one of those things. If anything, he was implying that other races were SMARTER for not wasting money. (If you’re looking for racists, come down here to Texas and I’ll point a few out for you… Danny is about as far from one as you’ll ever meet.)
14 Some Black Guy // Feb 3, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Brandon…. WOW you can’t get any whiter than telling someone “You wanna see racism, let me point some out for you!” My friend I am black I don’t need it pointed out, it’s been a part of my life since the day I was born.
By the way, you forgot to mention how many black friends, rap records and Spike Lee movies you have.
Also, I checked out your website… Think you could come down to the hood sometime and motivate my black brothers and sisters to maintain good health and fitness while business traveling? Don’t worry about motivating us to spend our money wisely, we NEVER go out to breakfast!
15 Colorado is for assholes // Feb 3, 2009 at 10:14 pm
You sir have throw the breakfast industry on to their heels! Denny’s was forced to give away free Grand Slam breakfasts today to counteract the movement born of your warm, gentle bosom. Good show, chap!
16 Colorado is for assholes // Feb 3, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Dear me. I wish you would fancy letting me edit that typo above.
17 Kansas is for bitches // Feb 4, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Maybe you should have checked your typing before submitting your comment. Something to think about…
18 Brandon // Feb 13, 2009 at 7:13 pm
re: Some Black Guy
I’m still not sure exactly what your point is but your post was pretty funny!
re: black friends… the “white dude with one token black friend” cliche is tired. Time to update your material.
re: rap records… I pick up a few here and there… mostly guys whom you probably don’t consider “real” hip-hop like Mos Def, Talib Kwelli, Q-Tip, etc.
re: Spike Lee… he’s a hack. Hasn’t made a good film in a long time.
re: Website… glad you checked it out! But…are you saying that there are no black business travelers who need help with staying healthy on the road? Interesting.
(You’re not really serious about all this stuff right? We’re just messing around here… aren’t we?)
b.
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